How you know pre-season is upon you

Back is still a bit sore after some manly dead lifts on monday

Yesterday you chose fruit salad instead of popcorn!

Your fleece training top is smelly

A royal pain in the arse

I can't help looking back at all the past seasons I've played for this club, one could call it being sentimental I guess... Throughout the years I've had sort of a mentor - not in the sense that she volonteered for it or even knew about it, but I had someone I looked up to in every way possible concerning rugby. She's basically stopped playing for Uppsala and frankly, I think it sucks!

First of all, she's an outstanding player. She will talk to you and tell you what to do, she will keep going when everyone else has weakened, she will tackle like a fucking gladiator and she will always, always be there in support. (If you're lying about in a ruck, she will pick you up and throw you out in defense - honestly, you wouldn't think someone so skinny could be so strong!) She will catch any lineout and outrun most other players. She makes it look easy too (which is well annoying).

Second: she has the attitude. The stoney winner-face on the pitch only radiates determination, no matter if we're in the lead or really struggling - but off the pitch she's the first one to tell her teammates what they did well, while being very modest about her own skills. All of the above has secured her place as Sweden flanker for several years, and as a royal pain in the arse for all teams playing Uppsala.

I guess my point is, I miss her. Come back and teach me how to own the flank like you do!

Gimme back my fat!

Getting into shape for 2012. Unfortunately, there's no shortcuts to this and my interest in strength and stamina during christmas has been scaringly close to an all time low (in fact, my goal has been to put ON some fat again. My clothes are too big and I'm always cold. Gimme back my fat!).

This attitude to workout hasn't been appreciated by other members of the household (clearly jealous) so yesterday I was dragged into a car and driven out in the woods with my running tights and flowery sweatband. Reluctantly realising that pre-season is right around the corner I was taken for a few kilometres of warm up running, then it was time for some romantic hill sprints before doing weights under a starry sky. Actually, not too bad (for a training session, I've been on better dates).

Back home, coach Devine decided I'd been good and deserved ice cream. Now that's what I call pedagogic!

DIY rugby

Tomorrow is our last training this year. Winter sessions at Katedralskolan haven't been well visited but enough to play some touch and get sweaty. One rookie even said training with few people was preferable, no need to disturb a big bunch of people with basic questions and consistently dropping the ball. I think in general these touch sessions have been helpful for new people to practise some easy ball handling and staying onside - but some more pedagogic than others.

A question has arisen whether our men's team actually has an outspoken game plan or if Uppsala simply favours improvisation? Considering the large number of players practising DIY rugby I'd say the latter is more probable. A fair few people seem to think there's no point in passing the ball, which is fair enough - we all love the ball. But they are also reluctant to take the contact. If their road is shut, they'll go left, stop, go backwards, go right and basically anywhere as long as they can. Do I really need to mention where the support is by this point? (Offside, confused and standing still is a good guess.)

Against an unorganised defense this still has a chance of working of course. We all know about players in different teams here that usually scores after a solo performance. However, my opinion is that no team can afford to field more than a couple of players with that kind of creativity. Not knowing where the hell your teammate is going will effectively prevent you from planning ahead your next phases. You can just hope to win the ruck, go from a stand still and play a slow ball. Again.

This sort of play during winter touch confuses all the new players. We tell them to go forward no matter what, but that isn't what they see. How will they learn if we don't follow our own instructions? Choose a running line and stick with it. Yeah right!

Not your average thursday

As a member of a club within the big, cosy community of the Swedish rugby union you might from time to time be asked to step up. (Ta en för laget så att säga.) I'm not talking about throwing yourself head first towards someone else's studs to make a try-saving tackle, nor about drawing five defenders and offloading the ball microseconds before getting smashed and breaking a few ribs in the process while your winger scores points and glory. During winter season the most heroic thing you can do for your team is to prove how wholesome and pure our club is. This you do by peeing in a cup when you get a visit from the Swedish Doping Board (a better name would maybe have been Swedish Anti-doping board, but what do I know?)


Last thursday four players were picked to participate in said event, all four evidently dried out after an hours touch rugby without water break. Let's just say it took some time. Some were more annoyed than others and complained loudly about swedish way of doing things - maybe because he only managed to squeeze out 3 of the required 90 ml? For all I know he might still be there...

This isn't him!

P is for party

Don't worry, I'm more responsible than I get credit for said my co-host the day before the fantabulous shenanigans of 2011, obviously sensing me getting fidgety. The gap between someone obsessed with detailed perfection and someone sporting a laissez-faire attitude has never been bigger.

However, as the staff showed up on time, the caterer delivered and there was enough booze to keep a whole rugby club happy I could relax a little. Speeches were held, food was eaten and people seemed happy - after a surprising family grand slam during the awards ceremony one could even say caution was thrown out the window...I (and most others) hit the bar.

KG showed his skills on the dance floor like every year, the band was awesome and the bartender was working hard. No wonder love and lust was in the air. I think no annual party has produced more pictures of people making out with slash picking up random people. A reliable source discovered something quite curious in relation to this - all four Beggos use the same kissing technique! Now I don't even like to speculate in how such a phenomenon could have happened...

Slightly tipsy (haha) I sent the barman home at 4am, and spent the next half hour repeatedly falling off my bike due to hitting the curb or being run into by Best tackler of 2011 - the other one, that is! =) The last thought running through my head as my forehead slammed down on the pillow was I'll never be able to sleep while the room is spinning...

About two seconds later the alarm went off. Feeling like roadkill I put some clothes on and cycled - still relatively unsteady - back to clean up together with a few other heroes. When the red wine was gone from the floors (and walls, tables, sound system...) the annual party of 2011 was officially over. Can't wait for next year!

annual party

Expect mayhem as usual. Apart from that: just testing my new blog app...

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